As parents we have some heavy responsibilities in raising our children. Creating a human being that is going to help shape society… the future. Doctors and soldiers are entrusted with this power and take an oath to uphold their duties. Why don’t we have a mom-oath?
I am a child and a woman who has survived her toxic parent upbringing with two emotionally immature parents. I am a woman who is doing the work to heal and create the best version of myself. I wish I would have learned earlier in life that in order to do this, I had to create a balance of my physical, mental and spiritual self. You can work out every day, take your vitamins and look great, but if you don’t deal with the stuff in your mind and heart, your body is going to keep reminding you that you’re not okay. Mine did no matter how hard I kept trying to push it down deeper inside me. Whether it’s sleep issues, weight loss or gain, acne, body pain or anxiety to name a few. And now, I’m a mother striving to increase my emotional intelligence and end the generational trauma in my family.
With two young children, I decided to reaffirm my mom-oath.
Saying I wanted to do better wasn’t going to cut it. I had a lot of work to do in all three arenas – physically, mentally and spiritually. I focused on the process and not the outcome. No goals. I just knew that old habits didn’t create new ways. Each morning I woke up thirty minutes before my kids. And since sacrificing sleep wasn’t an option, I went to be earlier so that each morning I had time for a five minute meditation, a five minute slot to journal on how I felt, my intention for the day, a few things of gratitude and a couple mini goals that day. I was grateful for my family, our health, my healing and even my comfy bed. And just by setting small goals like drinking enough water, sitting outside in the sunlight, taking my vitamins or even a quick cuddle session with my dogs, I began to be present. I slowed down and somehow this allowed me to be more productive. Most importantly, to experience more joy in my motherhood. I slowly shifted from constant chaos and this fight or flight mode to a more calm and focused presence.
With each passing day, I began to accomplish more. I slept better. I woke up peacefully. I felt more motivated and even hydrated.
I wanted to strip down and eliminate what works and what wasn’t serving me. I had created a purpose and it wasn’t one of my mom's goals. It was a me goal. I wanted true inner peace. Peace from my anxiety and constant state of worrying. I wanted to silence my inner critic and stop the perfect mom syndrome. My kids needed a happy mom, not a perfect mom. Say that again… my kids need a happy mom, not a perfect mom.
I took it slow and found that steady does win the race. I paused and held space for myself. And with each passing day, I forgave myself and I leaned into the discomfort. I forgave myself for not being kind to myself, for making myself a priority, for not showing myself the same love that I do for my family. And somehow without even realizing it, I began manifesting opportunities and connections that served my purpose. In the beginning, I thought of it as stepping out of my comfort zone, but then soon realized I was stepping into my comfort zone and away from discomfort. Day by day I created a better life that suited me. That served my family even higher.
Those doctors and soldiers, not only take an oath, but they go through rigorous training. My mom training has taught me the importance of making myself a priority. I’ve learned that self-love doesn’t take away from the love I have for my family. It allows me to serve my family in my most authentic form.
My Mom Oath
I do solemnly swear:
To protect and serve my children to the best of my ability.
To love unconditionally
To support both emotionally, physically and financially to the appropriate age. LOL
To be present.
To listen.
To teach.
To provide an environment and allow their tiny spirit to flourish and create their best life.
It’s not about being a perfect parent or parenting perfectly. God knows that’s impossible. It’s about being a loving one.
I’m a work in progress and I became the woman and now mother that my kids deserve. I’m raising strong, compassionate and passionate human beings to change the world in their own way. That’s my legacy.
Are you ready to take your mom-oath? It’s not about being a perfect parent, it’s about giving it your best shot. Now, keep your head up, shoulders back and heart open. You’ve got this!
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